Little Johnny at his best

TEACHER: Why are you late?
L-JOHNNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
L-JOHNNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: Johnny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
L-JOHNNY: You told me to do it without using tables!

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TEACHER: Johnny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
L-JOHNNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
L-JOHNNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
L-JOHNNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
L-JOHNNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johnny, who discovered America?
L-JOHNNY: George!
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TEACHER: Johnny, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't have ten years ago.
L-JOHNY: Me!

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TEACHER: Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?
L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you
are
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L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?
L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card.

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TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
L-JOHNY: Don't bite any.

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TEACHER: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
L-JOHNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johnny. Always say, "I am."
L-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."

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Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
sameday sametime."

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Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his
father didn't punish him?"
L-Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his
hand."

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L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
L-Johnny : Well, where did you get this MUMMY then?

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Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing,
one is green and one is blue with red spots!
L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair
of the same at home.

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Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
L-Johnny: Brotherly love.

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Teacher: Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers
before eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook.

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Teacher: Johnny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same
as your brother's. Did u copy his?
L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

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Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
L-Johnny : A teacher