I’m a police officer and occasionally park my cruiser in residential areas to watch for speeders. One Sunday morning I was staked out in a d...

A client recently brought her two cats to my husband’s veterinary clinic for their annual checkup. One was a small-framed, round tiger-strip...

In the Moreno Valley (Calif.) Recycler: "Homing pigeons free to good home. Must live far, far away."

A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, “Sorry, buddy. I can’t serve you.” “Why not?” the snake asks. “Because you can’t hold yo...

When a rattlesnake got loose in the second-floor hall of the science building at my university, it created quite a furor. Fortunately, one o...

A favorite story among color-film processors concerns the negative of a poodle which a woman sent to a photo-finishing lab. When the print w...

My father’s secretary was visibly distraught one morning when she arrived at the office and explained that her children’s parrot had escaped...

In good weather, my friend Mark always let his yellow-naped Amazon parrot, Nicky, sit on the balcony of his tenth-floor apartment. One morni...

From the Danvers, Ill., Shopper: "Ferret, likes kids, nice pet, but chewed the guinea pig’s ear off. Also, partially 2deaf guinea pig....

When my daughter and I caught only one perch on our fishing trip—not enough for even a modest lunch—we decided to feed it to her two cats. S...

At the end of a visit to Amsterdam, a friend borrowed an old suitcase from his hosts to carry home his souvenirs. At the airport, however, a...

I like hunting fossils, a hobby that isn’t exactly my wife’s favorite. On one excursion, I found the petrified bones of a squirrel-like mamm...

I worked at a boarding kennel where people leave their dogs and cats while on vacation. One morning I had taken a cat out of his cage, and a...

On a recent trip to the post office, I took a few minutes to read the notices posted on the public bulletin board in the lobby. One in parti...

One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter’s indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, I found t...

At a workshop on dog temperament, the instructor noted that a test for a canine’s disposition was for an owner to fall down and act hurt. A ...

Once while riding the bus to work, I noticed a man at a stop enjoying a cup of coffee. As we approached the stop, he finished drinking and s...

I was editing classified ads for a small-town newspaper when a man called to place an ad. "It should read," he said, "‘Free t...

I always scoffed when my sister insisted that our three dogs are computer literate. Then one day when I was signing on to AOL, I noticed tha...

The drive-up window at the bank where I’m a teller has an outside drawer to accept customer transactions. A woman once drove up with her dog...

My son is an avid listener to our city’s police frequency, and he leaves the scanner on all the time. One morning while making his bed, I he...

Living in a household with eight indoor cats requires buying large amounts of kitty litter, which I usually get in 25-pound bags—100 pounds ...

According to the Internet: The inscription on the metal bands used by the U. S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been c...

Snake 1: Are we poisonous? Snake 2: I don’t know. Why? Snake 1: I just bit my lip.

As I was walking through a variety store, I stopped at the pet department to look at some parakeets. In one cage a green bird lay on his bac...

I bought my sons a pet rabbit after they promised they would take care of it. As expected, I ended up with the responsibility. Exasperated, ...

Squirrels had overrun three churches in town. After much prayer, the elders of the first church determined that the animals were predestined...

A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff’s department canine division. One evening, the deputy was dispatched to the scene of a possibl...

My sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "...

One day while we were doing yard work, my nine-year-old daughter found a baby snake, and I encouraged her to catch it and put it in a jar. L...

Each morning at 5:30, I take my Lhasa Apso, Maxwell, for a walk. He has the bad habit of picking up bits of paper or other trash along the w...

Our cat, Figaro, comes home between 10 or 11 at night to eat. If he’s late, I turn on the carport light and call him until he appears. One d...

The vet prescribed daily tablets for our geriatric cat, Tigger, and after several battles my husband devised a way to give her the medicatio...

A French poodle and a collie were walking down the street. The poodle turned to the collie and complained, “My life is such a mess. My owner...

My niece bought her five-year-old daughter, Kayleigh, a hamster. One day he escaped from his cage. The family turned the house upside down a...

My father-in-law had prostate surgery. We brought him to the hospital at 7:30 a.m., and he was operated on at eight. We were amazed when the...

One of the highlights of the freshman biology class at New Mexico Highlands University was the monthly feeding of a caged rattlesnake kept i...

Sounds of crashing and banging in the middle of the night sent me and my husband out to our garage. There we spotted three raccoons eating o...

Dave’s parrot was always using bad language, so he asked the vet how he could stop it. "Every time the bird swears, put it in the freez...

Lost in the woods, a hiker spends two days wandering around with no food. Finally, he spots a bald eagle, hits the bird with a big rock and ...

An adorable little girl walked into my pet shop and asked, “Excuse me, do you have any rabbits here?” “I do,” I answered, and leaning down t...

My friend’s husband, Ray, is a state trooper and enjoys sharing the excuses people use when stopped for speeding. One day, however, the tabl...

I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked “Electronic cat and dog call—guaranteed to work.” I looked inside and was amused to see an...

A hypnotist was visiting the aquarium during feeding time. "You know," the hypnotist said to the man feeding the fierce shark, ...

“Nice dog. What’s its name?” I asked my friend’s 10-year-old son. “Bob,” he said. “And your cat?” “Bob.” “How do you keep them straight?” “W...

We visited our newly married daughter, who was preparing her first Thanksgiving dinner. I noticed the turkey thawing in the kitchen sink wit...

My brother adopted a snake named Slinky, whose most disagreeable trait was eating live mice. Once I was pressed into going to the pet store ...

I was shopping in the pet section of my local supermarket when I overheard a woman singing the praises of a particular water bowl to her hus...

Coincidences were flying when a man was arrested and charged with stealing a bird feeder from Cornell University’s ornithology laboratory. A...

My law partner was presenting a no-fault divorce case to an Ohio domestic-relations court. The couple involved had no children, but they did...

A fellow salesperson, an animal lover, was suddenly overcome by allergies at one of our company meetings. Coughing, sniffling, watery eyes …...

This report from an agent landed on my desk in the auto claims division of our insurance company: "Driver encountered a large deer that...

John went to visit his old grandfather in a secluded area of Georgia. After chatting all night John’s grandfather made a breakfast of bacon,...

Whenever my family leaves the house, our Shetland sheepdog’s animal instincts start to kick in. He runs circles around us and nips at our he...

Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Cow Cow who? Cow’s don’t "who" they "MOO"

During a trip to the zoo, we saw a sign posted next to the empty polar bear exhibit stating that the bear had died after eating a glove. ...